


A Memoir

by Sunflowergod



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Some angst, and some fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:42:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6062539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunflowergod/pseuds/Sunflowergod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Josh met Tyler, he was seventeen years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Memoir

The first time Josh laughed, he was 3 months old. His father had been making silly faces all day, attempting to get a smile out of his son. What came instead was a laugh, a genuine, full-body, pink plum cheeks and grabby baby fingers laugh.

The first time Josh went fishing, he was five years old. Josh’s father wanted to teach his son the ways of the hook, the line, and the sinker. Josh never caught any fish that day, but on the way home from Clearwater Lake, Josh’s father bought him a brand new guppy from the pet store. Josh smiled so wide his first shiny permanent tooth gleamed hello. 

The last time Josh saw his father, he was seven years old. His mother had red puffy eyes and grabby ringless fingers that day. Josh would never stop asking where dad had gone. 

The first time Josh had a best friend, he was eight years old. The other boy’s name was Herbert. Josh, thinking this name to be too hard to say, always referred to his new best friend as Herby. And Herby loved it.

The first time Josh had a crush, he was nine years old. He didn’t know his feelings for Herby were anything but friendly, but his amateur heart said otherwise. Herby had stick up electric blond hair and laughing green eyes, and always called Josh by Joshie instead. And Josh loved him. 

The second time Josh lost someone close to him, he was ten years old. Josh knew he liked boys, and he even knew the word. “I’m gay!”, Josh had told Herby, eyes big with hope. Herbert had punched Josh in the face, and then the stomach, and then kicked him for good measure. Josh barely felt himself hit the ground over the sound of his shattered heart and Herbert’s fading footsteps.

The second time Josh was beaten, he was twelve years old. All the other boys knew Josh was gay, and they didn’t want him around. Josh was only trying to get home from a long day at school when he was cornered. The tormentors didn’t leave until Josh’s bright rainbow was muddled with sharp black and blue

The first time Josh thought about death, he was fourteen years old. The local outcast, he was doomed to spend his eternity of school lunches eating alone in a bathroom stall. Josh wondered if anyone would miss him if he was to die. He wondered if they would notice. He wondered how they might celebrate, then decided not to give the cruel the satisfaction. 

The first time Josh met Tyler, he was seventeen years old. Josh was still razor sharp, with black and blue and trembling scars strewn across his body like a minefield. Tyler was the new kid, and Josh thought he was beautiful. Both of them scared and both of them alone, the boys began to talk. Josh decided he liked Tyler’s smile, and Tyler decided he wanted to see Josh’s full-body, pink plum grin more often. 

The first time Josh went on a date, he was eighteen years old. Josh and Tyler had spent every day and some nights together for the past year, and they wanted to take it a little farther. They wanted to be held, and loved, and where they should have been all along. The date ended up going great and Josh felt his heart melt into his cheeks, just like Tyler’s half-melted, warm chocolate eyes. 

The first time Josh danced with Tyler, he was eighteen years old. The pair had been going steady for months now, and they wanted to celebrate. Josh hung up fairy lights in his mom’s bleached kitchen and Tyler picked the music. Giggly twirling, lights blurring, pink plum smiles, warm chocolate eyes, and the eventual slow dance would make the night something to hold close to their melted hearts and never to forget.

The first time Josh took Tyler to the hospital, he was twenty one years old. Tyler had been complaining about headaches and dizziness, of all white vision and blurs. It wasn’t until Tyler passed out onto the kitchen floor that Josh would rush his boyfriend to the emergency room, eyes full of tears and mouth full of “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s. 

The second time Josh took Tyler to the hospital, he was twenty four years old. Tyler had collapsed again, this time hitting his head against the kitchen table and spilling both Josh’s coffee and his tears against the stark white tile floor.

The only time Josh proposed, he was twenty seven years old. The couple’s anniversary dinner had ended up going great. Josh got down onto one no longer sharp black and blue knee and felt his soul melt into the ring he offered to Tyler, “marry me?” on his lips. Tyler smiled the widest he ever had and erupted with a "yes!" that danced across Josh's lungs and into the center of his chest. They hugged, they held each other, and loved each other, and knew that was where they should have been all along. 

The last time Josh danced with Tyler, he was twenty nine years old. The smooth music drifted along the darkened living room floor, as Tyler’s and Josh’s feet went with it. Sleepy giggles, the whole world blurring, and the perfect mixture of plum smiles and chocolate eyes made the pair almost drunk with their affection. They made sure never to forget this.

The last time Josh took Tyler to the hospital, he was thirty years old. Josh found his husband fainted in the doorway to the kitchen, and rushed him to the emergency room. Josh’s sobs welled in his throat, just how Tyler’s blood welled in his. 

The first time Josh knew Tyler had cancer, he was thirty years old. They were cuddled in a hospital bed, clinging to each other for dear life. The doctor, with sad eyes and furrowed brow, barely whispered the words that sent Josh into hysterics and Tyler into shock. The two would not get out of the bed for the rest of the day. 

The last time Josh saw Tyler smile, he was thirty years old. Tyler was turning grey, and his chocolate eyes were turning yellow, and his body was turning to bones. Josh pressed a kiss to Tyler’s cold cheek, then whispered an “I love you” against his husband’s neck. Tyler took a breath, and remembered, and smiled.

The last time Josh told Tyler he loved him, he was thirty years old.

 

The last time Josh held Tyler in his arms, he was thirty years old.

 

The last time Josh felt his husband breath beside him, he was thirty years old. 

 

The only time Josh attended a funeral, he was thirty years old. 

~

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you guys think I should write more like this
> 
> ~
> 
> Thanks!


End file.
